Girl: Do you believe in puppy love? Boy: I tried it once, but their assholes are too small. Husband says; "When I'm gone you'll never find another man like me". Wife replied; "What makes you think I'd want another man like you!" When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness. A woman walks up to a guy in a blue bathing suit and says, "Did you know your eyes match your swim trunks?" He says, "Why? Are my eyes bulging?" "I told my wife that a man is like a fine wine... I always get better with age. The next day, she locked me in the wine cellar." Innkeeper: The room is $15. a night. It's $5. if you make your own bed. Guest: I'll make my own bed. Innkeeper: Good. I'll get you some nails and wood. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and ...
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